Letting go of inner peace

I told John of the Cross about my desire for inner peace as we walked along the path. He said, “The biggest obstacle to attaining inner peace is your desire for inner peace.”

He could tell I was really confused by that so he said, “The best thing is not to desire anything, even inner peace. Let go of all desire. Want for one thing only, that your will and God’s will be united and that God’s will be done. All other consolations are a distraction; desire is a torment.”

We walked a little further in silence.

I said, “There’s a lot to let go of. I don’t think I can do it.”

John of the Cross said, “Until you let go of everything your cart will be full, but you will have nothing. When you let go of everything you will know what it is to have nothing and be fully satisfied as if you had everything.”

I said, “That’s the paradox of the Gospel?”

He nodded, smiled and said, “Inner peace is the absence of the desire for inner peace.”