What to do (nor note do) about change
I told Etty Hillesum that I was upset about a change that had been made as we walked along the path. She laughed and said, “Who isn’t?”
I said, “No, seriously, this thing they’ve done has messed up a long held tradition.”
She didn’t break stride. I thought maybe she didn’t hear me, or wasn’t taking me seriously. Then she said, “Change upsets you only because you give it the power to upset you. Choose not to be upset. The upsetting thing only upsets you to the degree that you let it upset you. Being upset is a sign of spiritual immaturity, that’s all.”
That upset me. I felt unheard and unseen.
Sensing this she chastised me further. “Don’t retreat into self-pity. That’s a bad neighborhood for people like you and me. Then she stopped, turned and faced me. I was taken in by the depth of her eyes which were to me deep pools of kindness and enticement. She said, “Don’t waste your time trying to control things on the surface of life. Deep down you don’t really care about what other people think or do. That’s all a distraction from our real purpose in this life. The sky within you is as wide as the one above your head. You are free to soar through the deep meaning buried in all life, but you’re allowing yourself to be held captive by a million petty, materialistic concerns.”
Her words stung me, but they also felt like rescue. I struck back, “So, what, we don’t care about suffering people?”
“Who said that,” she said. “Your job is to love whoever and whatever is right in front of you as if you believe that God put them in your path just for you to care about them.”
“But that doesn’t seem like enough,” I said.
She said, “You can’t hear me. There are no frontiers between suffering people. We must love them all. The only way to make the world more habitable again is through love. Ignore change and ignore your feelings about change if you want to help the world become livable for all of us.”
“So, you’re saying, who cares about the change they made?”
“Now, you’re getting it!” she said.
“Oh,” I said. We walked on, and I felt lighter as we rounded the bend in the path.