The humble and the scared

 I have been thinking that perhaps there are two ways to move through life - scared or humble. That’s an oversimplification, no doubt about it, but sometimes making things really simple helps us navigate the ins and outs of day to day life which is often terribly complex.

This riff on the scared and the humble is based on the scene from Matthew’s Gospel in which Jesus and Peter walk on water. Peter begins to sink when he notices the wind and becomes scared. My take is that Peter became frightened because he thought he had to do something about the wind. He thought he had to fight the wind.

The scared think they have to fight the wind. The humble can walk on water.

When I am scared I am full of fear because I think I have to do it all on my own. I say that I believe in God and want to follow Jesus but I live my life as if there is no God and I am responsible for everything. I say that I am a follower of Jesus, but I function in life as if he has never said, “Come to me,” to anyone least of all me.

When the scared reach full maturity as scared people, they know that they can't solve all their own problems; they know they can’t fix the people in their lives, but they keep trying. This is the insanity that fear brings on.

The scared fight the wind. The wind, simply put, is the unpredictable nature of life. The scared think they have to do something about the wind. They try to tame life, make it predictable, and put it in a box, or on a leash. 

Over time the fear of the scared increases because the people around them both purposely and unwittingly put pressure on the scared to be self-reliant masters of the universe. Eventually the scared become scared to ask for help because they’ve digested the false message that they should be able to go it on their own.

That, by the way, is why everyone of us could stand to chill out, and turn down the heat on our expectations of other people. When we’re complaining about and criticizing someone who is already scared that they aren’t worth anything or up to the task at hand, we should stop. Just cool it.

The scared are always asking the wrong question. Their sincere but misguided question is, What am I supposed to do with my life? It seems like a good question but it's a fear based question.

The humble can walk on water, and they do it all the time.

The humble know they can’t do anything on their own. They rely fully on God. God isn’t always clear with them, so they have to be patient and move slowly.

The humble weren’t born that way. The humble used to be scared. 

What sets them apart is that they have tried to fix and master themselves, their families, the world and all the people in it and they’ve come up short, sometimes they’ve failed spectacularly.

The humble see their failures and all their inabilities as gifts because their failures are what has shown them that the only answer is God. Paradoxically, God doesn’t give answers. God gives love. God gives love that touches the deep hunger that dwells within us all. It is not a hunger to know what to do. It is a hunger to feel connected to God unto union with God and all creation in love.

The humble grow over time to know who they are and who they are not. None of us is called to fight the wind; the humble are the ones who know it.

The scared wring their hands and spend sleepless nights wrestling with and asking the wrong question, What is God calling me to be and do?

The humble have stumbled onto the right question, How can I be with you God? How can I be fully surrendered to God? How can I be connected to God moment to moment?    

How can I be one with God?

The humble walk on water because they are not trying to do something about the wind. They are tuned in to the voice of God in Jesus Christ which is always calling out to all of us saying, “Come. Come to me.”

Then they walk on water and not because the wind has died down but because they have power to walk through it because they are walking with Jesus. This is the point at which the apostle Paul got free of his fear and said, “I live; no longer I, but Christ lives in me.” and “When I am weak then I am strong because the strength of you O’ God flows through me.”

What is the wind you’re fighting? What is the preoccupation that is preventing you from walking on water and causing you to sink?

Is it someone you need to forgive?

Somebody you’re jealous of?

A fight you want to win?

An opinion or complaint you want to register?

A job you want to get?

A person you want to change?

A dollar amount you want to make? Want to make life predictable and safe?

What’s the wind you’re fighting?

The Gospel impression I get is that we’re only fighting those impossible winds because we’re scared that if we don’t fight the wind we won’t have a sense of purpose or self. But that’s not true. In fact fighting the wind only causes us to sink. The counsel of the Gospel is to - Give up. Throw in the towel on the question, what am I supposed to do and be? In the kingdom of God it’s not a relevant question.

Start asking the question of the humble, How can I be constantly connected to you Jesus? How can I fully surrender to you Jesus?

The kingdom of God consists of the humble who have been saved from their fears by a sincere desire to simply be with God. They know just what to do. Like horses turned loose in the pasture the humble are turned loose into their own lives to love whoever is right in front of them WITH God FROM the depth of their own humble hearts.

They walk on water, and you can too. You are the humble hearted who walk on water.