Retain or forgive

Not long before he died Jesus said this to his friends, “You have power to retain the sins of others, and you have the power to forgive the sins of others.” I think that’s his best relationship advice. It’s important to recognize that I have not been given power over other people, I have been given this power for other people.

In simple terms retain means hold on to, and forgive means let go of. In life in general and in relationships with other people in particular, I can hold on or I can let go.

I guess all the relationship trouble I’ve ever been in has been because I’ve been holding onto something when I should have let it go.

Sometimes I can feel the devil inside of me trying to get me to hold on to anger and fear and I have to work real hard to say, No, no, no I am going to let go.

A little angel inside of me says, The only way forward is letting go.

If I could give my younger self just one piece of advice, I would draw from the teaching of Jesus and offer this advice:

Let go as fast as you can. And it’s darn hard to let go, so you’re going to need God’s help.

When you get mad, ask God to help you let go.

When you’re afraid, ask God to help you let go.

When you’re over-confident, ask God to help you let go.

When you’re sad, be tender with yourself, then ask God to help you let go.

Let go and give all that mess you’ve got clinched in your fist to God. If you want to live free in this world moving through life down the corridor of love, then you have got to get good at letting go. If you can only have one skill in this life, let it be a ready capacity to let go.

That’s what I’d say if I could give my younger self a word of advice.