If I am attached to the outcome, then I am counting on a certain thing happening. I know I am attached when my sense of well being is dependent upon my expected or hoped for result. When I get attached to an outcome what I am doing is fencing myself into a restricted space; I am limiting my own freedom. I am positioning myself to be happy and okay if the outcome I desire comes to be and unhappy and not okay if the outcome I have attached myself to does not come to be.
Can you see how that diminishes the natural spaciousness and freedom that’s in place when I am not attached to the outcome?
If I am not attached to the outcome, then somehow what I’ve discovered is a source of peace, happiness, and well being that is not tethered to exterior conditions, but is instead supplied by a deep inner resource.
In addition, if I am not attached to the outcome, then I remain in the spacious open field of possibility and am thus well-positioned to receive and welcome the unexpected outcome and all its unexpected gifts and benefits. What I’ve come to realize over the years is that if I am not attached to the outcome then I am better able to spot the divinity sewn into, as one teacher puts it, “the immediacy of what is.”
In the New Testament book of Acts a fella named Gamaliel gives us a good path out of attachment. A bunch of his friends are tangled up in a controversy and they desperately want a certain thing to happen. They are attached to the outcome, and as a result they are stuck in angry reactivity. Gamaliel steps in and says something deceptively simple. He says, Consider this, if this thing you want to happen is of God everything will work out, if it’s not of God and simply another shiny thing devised by man, then it won’t work out.
Some have called that the Gamaliel principle. When you find yourself all worked up and attached to a certain outcome, take a deep breath, pause, and say to yourself, “I am letting go of my attachment. If this is of God it’ll work out, if it’s not it won’t. All is well.”
The Gamaliel principle assumes that we’re showing up, we’re putting our best foot forward, and we’re focused on doing the right thing in a loving way. If we can check those boxes, then there really is no need to be attached to the outcome. You're free to detach with love. In fact detachment is the pathway to all the spaciousness and freedom you could ever want.