The limited worth of my opinion

My opinion has limited worth. It matters, but not all that much.

Sometimes when I hear someone give a talk or a presentation or just share something in conversation my opinion perks up his little head inside my wider consciousness and says something like this, “Hmmm, I don’t agree with what I just heard, in fact, it didn’t make much sense to me. I think what was said was wrong, actually I think there might be something wrong with the person who just said it.”

All that is registered silently almost like a reflex of my mind embodied as my opinion. (I have learned the hard way over the years not to say everything that crosses my mind out loud. My parents taught me good manners, after all.) Then what commonly happens is someone around me will say the exact opposite thing to the speaker, “Oh my gosh, what you just said is exactly what I needed to hear! Thank you so much. I feel like you’re reading my mind. You just made my day and helped me immensely.”

I have grown to love it when that happens because it shows me the limited worth of my opinion. Not everything is for me. That is, some things are helpful for me and some things are not, but because it’s not helpful for me or I don’t “get it” has little bearing on how it might strike someone else. It is very common that something that doesn’t resonate with me resonates deeply with my neighbor and vice versa. 

These days when my opinion raises his voice in my head I will gently say to him, “Hey, man, not everything’s for you.” Then I smile and feel my heart and mind grow larger with the grace of forbearance, patience, and wonder. When I hear something that’s not for me for whatever reason, I like to look around and quietly wonder, “Who was that for? That didn’t make a lick of sense to me, but I bet somebody in here was really helped by what was just said.” 

I’ve also taken to telling my opinion to be quiet because I want to keep listening. When my opinion raises his voice it’s pretty common that I can’t hear what’s said next. Does that ever happen to you?

I am really close to a first grade teacher. In truth, we’re in love and have been for a long time. I asked her just this morning this question, “If your new first graders could come to you on their first day in first grade with one skill what would it be? You just get to choose one thing.” She didn’t hesitate. She said, “The ability to listen with their eyes and their ears.”

I love that so much. It makes so much sense to me and reminds me of Jesus who cured blindness and deafness and said, “Blessed are your eyes, for they see, and your ears, for they hear.”

My reading of the Gospel finds Jesus resistant to giving his opinion. Instead I experience him modeling forth a deeper way to see and listen that sidesteps opinion and gets to the heart of the matter or the person who is standing right in front of him.

Of course some people, maybe you, really need to register their opinion out loud and in living color. That’s okay. I’ve just found mine to have limited worth as I seek to surrender to love. My opinion is kind of like a horse that needs a bridle. Bridled he’s useful, unbridled he’s pretty wild.

Bridle your opinion and then listen with your eyes and your ears. That’s gold.

Isn’t life something? I think it’s so much fun to be alive.