The heart is swinging door

A wisdom saying

“No one ever wins a fight.” What do you think about that line? Actually hold that thought. It’s Easter season and before we risk getting into a skirmish about whether or not anyone ever wins a fight I want to say something about resurrection.

Resurrection and home

The resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead unleashed the repairing power of God’s love into the world in a new way. The resurrection says once and for all: we are here to love. If anyone ever tells you that Christianity is more complicated than that, be sweet to them because after all we’re Christians, but be cautious too. Because it is not more complicated. We are here to love and be loved and the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead sets us free to do just that.

Christians are people who find their true home in the heart of the resurrected Jesus Christ where his love heals all our wounds and proclaims our identity as his beloved children. We are then sent out into the world to look for injured and hurting people, so that we can apply the balm of God’s repairing love to their wounds, so that they might find a home in our hearts and their true names in the heart of Jesus.

That was a lot of words

Let me put it on the street. Yesterday, late afternoon, I was feeling pretty stressed. Do you know the feeling? I had 14 different stressors coming at me like arrows all at once. The 14th was water dripping from a light fixture in the ceiling in our dining room and pooling on the floor. I live with this woman who to be honest I’ve grown very fond of over the years and as we passed each other in the kitchen I said to her, “I am feeling stressed out this afternoon.” A lot of times it really helps just to say that to someone. She said, “Oh, I’m sorry.” She said it very tenderly which helped. Then she said, “Have you prayed the prayer, Help me, help me, help me, God. Amen? That’s the one I’ve been praying.” I said, “No, but I will.” And I did. You know what happened? I could feel myself remembering where my true home is in the heart of Jesus, and while the stressors didn’t disappear the weight of them lightened. The other thing that happened was I felt like this woman (in truth, we’re in love) was swinging the door to her heart open to me which caused me to feel at home and cared for in my woundedness. 

Don’t stay put

When Jesus first appeared to his disciples after the resurrection he said to them, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me so I send you.” When we discover our home in the heart of Jesus we’re not supposed to go in, close the door, and stay put. Jesus was sent to love us, and we are now sent to love other people. God’s plan to save the world is the love of his Son channeled through us.

Now back to fighting

“No one ever wins a fight.” Lately when I say that to people they mostly disagree with it.

They try to be sweet because they like me so they say gently and thoughtfully, “I don’t think that’s right.”

Disclaimer (then go deeper)

Common sense applies. For instance, if someone bursts in here right now and tries to hurt you I am going to fight them off, and I plan on winning.

That’s not what our line is about. Go deeper with it - “No one ever wins a fight.” For instance, consider this - if it’s come to a fight, then no matter who wins we’ve all lost.

Who said it?

Do you know who said it? Howard Thurman’s grandmother. Do you remember Howard Thurman?

Howard Thurman was born in November of 1899 in Daytona, Florida. He was a Christian minister, an educator, a philosopher, a champion of non-violent Christianity, and a mentor to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Howard Thurman’s grandmother said, “No one ever wins a fight” to him when he was a little boy. Her name was Nancy Ambrose, she was a follower of Jesus, and she was the rock of Howard’s family when he was a little boy. 

I have long thought that she had the authority to say such a thing for many reasons. She was a black woman in the south long before the civil rights movement hit full stride, and she had been a slave before the Civil War. If a former slave is saying something like “No one wins a fight” we’d all do well to listen and listen at the deepest level possible. Coming out of her mouth the line is a wisdom saying from a Christian elder who has lived a long life and thus knows all that she knows by experience.

Here’s what prompted her to say, “No one ever wins a fight.” When he was a little boy one day coming home from school a bully began to torment Howard. He quickly got fed up and turned on the bully to get him to stop. A fight ensued and went on for several blocks. Howard later said it was a ferocious battle. The bully was “bigger and older and had brothers,” but none of that dimmed Howard’s efforts. He finally pinned the bully at which point he conceded defeat. When Howard got home he told his grandmother that he had won. 

She looked him up and down and said simply, “No one ever wins a fight.”

But I beat him! Said Howard.

“Yes, but look at yourself,” she said.

Howard puzzled over that exchange for a long, long time until one day he saw clearly that if we’re fighting at all we’ve all lost.

Now I know what you’re thinking because I’m thinking it too. We can all think of 1000 examples where fighting seems necessary and the only way forward. But consider this: in each case no matter how righteous the cause - no one wins because fighting always leaves us less than whole. And if I think I’ve won I’m risking an arrogance that must truly injure the heart of God and his dream of peace for our lives and this world.

Another way

There is another way, and it’s not easy but it is fundamentally Christian.

This is another scene from Howard Thurman’s childhood. One day Howard and his mother noticed a large crowd gathering at the end of their street. Howard’s mother sent him to see what was going on. When he made his way through the crowd to see what they were looking at he found the town’s barber, Kenchion Butler. He seemed to have had some kind of mental breakdown. Kenchion Butler had a huge axe in his hands and he was walking slowly in a wide circle around a big oak tree. At intervals he would stop and swing the axe at the tree while shouting someone’s name loudly. Folks tried to talk to him and calm him but he wouldn’t listen or respond to anyone. The sheriff had been called and seemed on the verge of intervening with force.

Someone in the crowd suddenly thought of Ma Walker. Ma Walker was a woman in their town who was known for two unique attributes. One, she personally cared for all kinds of people and two she had a magnificent rose garden from which she produced beautiful roses which adorned the church altar every Sunday and many funerals too.

Howard was sent to get her. He ran down to her house and told her what was going on. She said, “Take me to him.” When Ma Walker and Howard got within sight of the crowd she called out, “Kenchion!”

Kenchion Butler heard his name and there was a slight hesitation in his step but he didn’t stop. Ma Walker called out again as she moved closer, “Kenchion!”

The crowd parted and Ma Walker and Howard moved closer still to Kenchion who circled the tree and swung his axe. The sheriff pulled his gun from his holster. 

The atmosphere was wound so tight with tension that a fight seemed inevitable.

Come home with me

As they drew closer Howard stopped and Ma Walker stepped into Kenchion’s path repeating his name.

Then they met, their eyes held, and she said gently, “Come, Kenchion, you must go home with me.” And he did. Kenchion put down his axe and walked slowly home with Ma Walker.

Sometimes folks fairly lose themselves and their minds when they don’t know where their home is. Ma Walker took Kenchion to her house and the home of her own heart where he rediscovered his identity in God and his home in the heart of Jesus.

Baptism

“No one ever wins a fight,” seems like a perfect line to use as a baptismal charge on a baptismal day. We recently welcomed 11 new Christians into a new way of life which is guided and directed by love. It feels like the best counsel we could give them as they launch out into a world in which fighting is very much in fashion. No one ever wins a fight, so love, love at all costs.

When all is said and done

More than 50 years after these two instances from his childhood Howard Thurman arrived at this conclusion, “Ultimately there is only one place of refuge on this planet for any person - and that is in another person’s heart. To love is to make of one’s heart a swinging door.” That is our job as Christians: to make room in our hearts for each other.

We are called to make room in our hearts for those we oppose and for those who oppose us. It is the more difficult and the better way. No one wins a fight. It’s true.