A special love for difficult people
If love is the answer to every question, then what are we to do with our detractors?
Detractors are people who speak poorly of you, treat you poorly, or otherwise simply cause you trouble. They can be people you know or people you don’t know and will never meet, but who nevertheless cause you great distress and turmoil. If you don’t have anyone like that in your life, I hope you know how lucky you are.
In the early stages of the spiritual journey, detractors are a real drag. But as time goes on and we work on becoming more and more dependent on God’s love alone to meet our emotional and spiritual needs, then our detractors take up a special place in our hearts.
I am not there, but I’ve learned from St. Teresa of Avila that as God’s love becomes our sole source of fuel we can become transformed and two things can happen.
One, when someone speaks poorly of you or otherwise throws you into distress, it can serve as a reminder that God’s love alone is your salve and your sustenance. You are not a person dependent upon other people’s approval, you’re not a person who is made or broken by what others think of what you’ve done, you’re not a person whose inner peace is dependent upon exterior circumstances. In fact, rough talk or rough behavior from another person directed your way is a strange gift in as much as it rattles your cage, then reminds you that God’s love alone is the answer to all that ails you.
Two, as God’s love becomes our sole fuel source our hearts are enlarged to “divine proportions.” That means that as we turn day by day to God’s love for sustenance, God’s love expands our hearts. Along with an enlarged heart comes an increased capacity for compassion. There is room in a big heart for people we oppose and who oppose us. Teresa says, “When a soul is transformed by God’s love she attains an unshakable peace. She has absolutely no animosity toward those who mistreat her or whose intention is to do her harm. In fact, a special love for her persecutors grows inside this soul, to the extent that if she sees that they are in trouble her heart fills with compassion and she would do anything in her power to relieve them of their affliction.”
The God-dependent life is our life and it is a life fueled by love alone. Well-meaning people will tell you that it’s not that simple. It is that simple. Love is all.